Poem for New Pet Owners

Don't smell crotches, don't eat plants, Don't steal food or underpants. Don't eat my socks; don't grab my hair,,, DON'T RIP THE STUFFING FROM THAT CHAIR!!
Don't eat those peas, don't touch that bush, Don't chew my shoes, what IS this mush!?! Eat your cookies, drink your drink, Outta the toilet! Outta the sink!
AWAY FROM THE LITER BOX, IT'S FOR THE CAT! (and must you kiss me after that!?!) Raising a puppy is not for the lazy, Those rugrats are funny, but also quite crazy.
Don't despair through the toil and the strife. "Cause after three years you'll get back your life! So lets go for walkies, so you can do your "thing" And maybe I'll get back my diamond ring!
-Author unknown

DogCents

Why is it that my heart is so touched whenever I meet a dog lost in our noisy streets? Why do I feel such anguished pity when I see one of these creatures coming and going, sniffing everyone, frightened, despairing of even finding its master? I have a great dog. She's half lab, half pit bull and good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back. Dogs are lousy poker players. When they get a good hand they wag their tails.

Poem for new Pet owners

Don't smell crotches, don't eat plants, Don't steal food or underpants. Don't eat my socks; don't grab my hair,,, DON'T RIP THE STUFFING FROM THAT CHAIR!!
Don't eat those peas, don't touch that bush, Don't chew my shoes, what IS this mush!?! Eat your cookies, drink your drink, Outta the toilet! Outta the sink!
AWAY FROM THE LITER BOX, IT'S FOR THE CAT! (and must you kiss me after that!?!) Raising a puppy is not for the lazy, Those rugrats are funny, but also quite crazy.
Don't despair through the toil and the strife. "Cause after three years you'll get back your life! So lets go for walkies, so you can do your "thing" And maybe I'll get back my diamond ring!
-Author unknown